


Help A Man Out, Would You?

by Ellionne



Series: Mad as a Hatter (Crack Collection) [7]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: (Harry&Ginny), (Harry&Tom), (non-graphic Harry/Ginny), Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Bisexual Disaster Harry Potter, Bromance, Entertained Ginny, F/M, Friends With Benefits, M/M, Oblivious Harry, Pre-Relationship, Roommates, Same Age, frustrated Tom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-23 15:40:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30057717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellionne/pseuds/Ellionne
Summary: Discord-Prompt:I have this friend who's running on a pretty dry streak and is in desperate need of a blowjob. Think you could help him out? He's not even ugly.If you were a true friend, you'd give him one yourself
Relationships: Harry Potter & Ginny Weasley, Harry Potter/Tom Riddle | Voldemort
Series: Mad as a Hatter (Crack Collection) [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2194092
Comments: 18
Kudos: 62
Collections: NW14_Collection





	Help A Man Out, Would You?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TheLadyGia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLadyGia/gifts).



> **Do NOT repost, recreate or translate.**  
> 
> 
> Thanks to my beta [Sage](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeuroWriter14/pseuds/NeuroWriter14) <3
> 
> I've honestly no idea what happened to my initial idea for the prompt or where the Hinny part is coming from but I just go ahead and put the fault at my friend‘s feet because of a conversation we had about Hinny the other day, so yeah- take responsibility by accepting the gift, would you? <3 

Harry stretched lazily - Ginny still dozing on his naked chest, grumbling disturbed - and blinked against the sun. What a brilliant morning. 

Well, it was to be expected after such a brilliant night. Going out with his friends, roaming through the pubs, and thoroughly enjoying himself had been good for him after all his slaving away for the latest assignment. Bringing Ginny back home - to his apartment for a change - and _enjoying himself_ further had done wonders for his stress level. Harry hadn’t felt this relaxed in ages. 

The woman was a godsend. She was hilarious and smart, she was capable and caring, beautiful and _talented._ She was his best friend. With certain, not further explained benefits. 

It had been a pain and a half to convince her mother that, no, they would not end up married with a bunch of kids. It had been even more troublesome to convince her brothers - _all six of them_ \- that, yes, the situation as it was, was exactly what Ginny wanted. It had taken Ginny breaking Ron’s nose with a _cake_ to drive that point home, Harry still cherished the memory.

But well, it had been worth it. Neither of them needed to suffer through unsatisfying one-night-stands nor to worry about hooking up with serial-killers or worse. Like stalkers. Ginny would let him never forget about Collin. 

For as long as it would last (Harry guessed it wouldn’t be for that much longer, since recently Ginny was turning interesting shades of red whenever she talked about her roommate), it was a win-win situation for everyone involved. Minus serial-killers and stalkers.

A knocking at his door startled Harry out of his stretch and made Ginny sit up yawning, taking the blanket with her to cover herself while she rubbed her eyes unconcerned. After all, there wasn’t a question who would be at the door. 

“Yea?” 

The door opened and they were stared down by Tom, Harry’s roommate. The dark circles under his eyes were the only sign to betray Tom’s tiredness, the small tick under his left eye the only sign for his annoyance. 

Otherwise, Tom looked as _perfect_ as always, dressed with a tight-fitting button-up spanning over his defined chest and despite the hour, his chestnut hair was already neatly styled in an effortless look that let Harry regularly turn green with envy. And invoked a not closer inspected need to run his fingers through them, to mess them up again. 

“If you feel the need to ride Harry into oblivion again _at 3 in the morning_ \- do me a favour and gag him first.”

Alright, maybe his arrangement with Ginny was a win-win-lose-situation. 

Harry admired the way the fabric of Tom’s slacks stretched over his strong thighs as he turned around and went down the hallway to the kitchen. A shame that they lived together, otherwise Harry might have tried to tap that ass. It would be interesting to see Tom _not_ high-strung for once. Ah, well, he had his needs sated so there was no reason to risk-

Speaking of risks, Harry didn’t like the considering look in Ginny’s eyes when he turned back to face her.

“Don’t even think about it, Weasley.”

oOo

It was two weeks later - exams fast approaching and all the studying it required led to Harry inviting Ginny over for another round of _stress relief_ every other day- when Tom eventually ceased to be courteous and didn’t wait until the next morning anymore. 

He didn’t even knock. 

Harry was startled out of his _activities_ when the door was ripped open and Harry’s eyes zeroed in on Tom’s fast-heaving bare chest, the pyjama pants riding deep on his hips exposing sharp hipbones Harry had the sudden strong urge to lick it. 

“I swear if you don’t get a grip on your libido- or at least _the noise_ -”

Ginny, having grown up with six older brothers, wasn’t as easily intimidated as the snobbish trust fund babies that tended to crowd around Tom’s feet, eager for every scrap of his attention but somehow dreading to gather it at the same time. Harry, surprisingly, got along with Tom pretty well from the get-go and thus regularly forgot about Tom’s more sadistic streak but the other had a known bad temper and a tongue to cut anyone to pieces if he put his mind to it. 

But well- so did Ginny. 

Ginny, who was by far the bravest soul Harry had ever met and interrupted Tom’s furious snarl with an almost bored tone - all without slowing down on top of Harry or doing so much as hiding her naked body from Tom’s gaze. Not that the latter would be needed, even when angry, Tom was too much gentleman to ogle a naked woman - instead, his eyes burned into Harry’s with an unholy intensity, daring him to defy him.

“Out of curiosity, what are you swearing on? Didn’t peg you for the religious type.”

Stone-faced, Tom glared at an impishly smirking Ginny, his eyes never straying from her face. Harry had the vague impression there was something going on between the two of them but he couldn’t quite grasp it. Trapped as he was between Ginny’s thighs, her hips still moving, and the visual of half-naked Tom all tousled by his disturbed sleep and an angry flush to his face, eyes ablaze with _something_ \- it was rather difficult to keep his thoughts in the resemblance of order. 

“ _Get. Out.”_

Ginny laughed. _Laughed._

“Alright, alright - I’m going. No need to get snappy.”

And without further ado, she just braced her hands on Harry’s shoulders to get up without a care for her nudity, patted Harry’s cheek in consolation before she grabbed her lose summer dress from his desk and pulled it over her head, apparently too lazy to properly cloth herself to move the two floors down to the flat she shared with Luna. A lovely girl who was also the reason why they recently met up at Harry’s. Ginny had developed a crush and it was adorable and hilarious in equal parts- not that Harry would ever dare to voice his opinion.

“Good luck _sleeping_ , Tommyboy.”

Tom bristled but stepped aside to let her through, staring down at Harry’s dazed face. _Tommyboy_. Did it still count as bravery or did Ginny toe the line of being suicidal? Well, Harry was nothing if not a good friend so he decided to sacrifice himself and distract Tom before he could give in to the visible urge and follow Ginny to shove her down some stairs or something.

“What _are_ you swea-“

“Finish that sentence and I’ll kill you while you sleep, _Potter_.”

“...”

Tom’s eyes bored into his, dared him to make a sound. Harry gave in and headed the warning, the dangerous inflection of Tom’s voice gave him, and decided to play innocent. He made his eyes appear as big as possible, blinked slowly, and peered under his long lashes at Tom, lips set in a small pout. 

It seemed to work, for Tom’s gaze instantly left Harry’s face, trailed over his exposed chest, rested briefly on his wet-glistering, still hard cock - made it embarrassingly twitch under the attention - before he abruptly turned to leave. 

“Be quiet.”

Tom hadn’t even fully closed the door behind him when Harry pressed his balled fist against his mouth and bit down hard on his knuckles. 

Oh god.

It wasn’t that Tom had barged into his room while he had sex- Harry wasn’t shy and it wasn’t by far the first time that Tom had felt disturbed enough by Harry’s… _enthusiasm_ to barge in and throw out whoever was there with him, leaving Harry alone and dissatisfied.

It wasn’t even that Tom had been almost naked. Tom _also_ wasn’t shy and as their time living together moved on, let them feel more comfortable in the shared living space, the other took less and less change clothes with him to the bathroom until, in the end, he went to and from the shower naked more often than not. Harry didn’t complain, only watched out of the corner of his eyes and internally bemoaned that they were roommates and he couldn’t climb Tom like the fucking solid tree he was without the potential of making their functional cohabitation awkward real fast. 

Tom made the best pancakes, Harry was determined to not make them living together awkward. 

But-

_Oh god._

It was the first time Harry had been at the receiving end of Tom’s voice being dark and dangerous. Tom being commanding. And, holy shit, did it do things to him. 

His free hand flew to his aching cock, and it took embarrassing little work before he came all over his chest. Tom’s intensely burning gaze still on his mind, Harry did his best to stifle his loud moan by biting down his fist, the unfamiliar pain only adding to his pleasure.

Dozing in his post-coital satisfaction, enjoying the brief moment of stress-free contentment, Harry figured Tom would probably feel much more relaxed if he would just get off too every now and then. 

oOo 

Harry hadn’t forgotten about his solution to Tom’s steadily increasing bad mood. But in the light of the day, presented with heavenly apology-pancakes in the morning, Harry didn’t want to disturb the peace by offering a random blowjob or something just to let Tom blow off steam once. 

It seemed a bad deal, even though Tom barging in and throwing out Ginny or whoever else was there with Harry seemed to become the new normal and Harry didn’t like it. His latest catch, a nice boy who had chatted Harry up in the library, had even the gall to slap Harry for ‘leading him on and using him to cheat on his boyfriend’. Harry was reeling from that one, because _what the hell?_

Then again, Harry wasn’t the only one suffering under Tom’s current temper, was he? So why should he play the Saviour and sacrifice himself for everyone’s happiness? For people like _Malfoy_ , for example, who for whatever reason thought it appropriate to bother Harry with stories about what Tom had done now again to make _his_ life difficult. 

Turning the chatter out, Harry wondered idly where Malfoy, and some others of Tom’s usual _devotees_ , got the impression that Harry was Tom’s keeper or something. What did they expect him to do? Telling Tom off for being an ass to people that basically asked for it and whom Harry couldn’t stand in the first place?

As if. 

“You know, he’s just stressed with his project. You should help him relax and all should be good.” 

“...Relax. I should help him relax.” Malfoy blinked unbelievingly at him. “Are you daft, Potter? How would I even go about that?”

Harry rolled his eyes at Malfoy’s dramatics and rested his head on his folded arms, determined to get at least five minutes of peace even with all the whining going on next to him. 

“What do I know? Suck him off or something.”

Harry enjoyed the quiet for exactly thirty seconds before it freaked him out - Malfoy was _never_ quiet - and he looked up into an utterly shocked face.

“ _You._ Want _me._ To suck off _Tom_?!”

“I- ‘want to’ is a bit strong, it’s just- it’s just a suggestion?” The growing fearful horror on Malfoy's face would be hilarious on any other day but now it just unnerved Harry. What was so terrible with his suggestion? It was no secret Malfoy was gay so that shouldn’t be the problem. Maybe Tom was straight? Harry hadn’t put much thought to it before but, hm… 

Well if Tom was straight, thank god Harry hadn’t made it awkward by just offering a blowjob. That would have been embarrassing. 

Anyways, if Tom didn’t like guys-

Harry pulled out his phone and selected his chat with the most fearless person he could think of. 

_ > Hey Gin, I have this friend who's running on a pretty dry streak and is in desperate need of a blowjob. Think you could help him out? He's not even ugly _

Hm. Ginny hated omitted truths almost as much as outright lies so maybe-

 _ > Tom. _ _  
_ _I’m talking about Tom._ _  
_ _I mean you’ve seen him, right?_ _  
_ _He’s not ugly._ _  
_ _Help a man out, would you?_

_ > (Me. Help me out. You’re my hero. Ily. Rescue me from the dragon. Pls.) _

With that taken care of, Harry could put the matter off his mind for the moment and concentrate back on the seminar that was about to start. Ginny would either take care of it or wring Harry’s neck for daring to suggest it - either way, Harry wouldn’t need to subject himself to Tom’s bad temper any further. Win-win.

  
  
  


When he dared a look at his phone later, Ginny had already answered. 

_ > If you were a true friend, you'd give him one yourself _

_ > I’ve seen you ogling him, so it shouldn’t be a hardship. _

_ > (Man up, Potter. You won’t always be able to hide behind my skirts, baby <3) _

Once. He hid behind her _once_ when her brothers Fred and George had found them fumbling around for the first time and she did never let him forget about it. It was-

To be honest, Harry didn’t find it in him to care. It was _so_ worth it. He had seen what Fred and George’s _friendly pranks_ did to unsuspecting folks. No thanks. Harry was secure enough in his masculinity to hide shamelessly behind a strong woman with the ability to put the fear of god into grown men with nothing more but a glance. 

So, of course, when said woman told him to man up and proposition his roommate himself-

Eh, it wasn’t that bad yet, right?

No need to make it awkward - especially since Malfoy seemed to think Tom was straight. 

oOo

_Wasn’t that bad yet_ , his ass.

If it wasn’t a case of instant karma 3000 Harry didn’t know what it was. 

Not just Tom was bad-tempered anymore, getting worse by the day the closer the deadline for his project came - Harry was also stressed out of his mind with studying for his exams and Ginny had laughed in his face when he had asked her if she wanted to come over. Said it didn’t make sense if he wouldn’t take care of Tom first, since there was no way they would be finished before Tom would interrupt them and ‘ask’ Ginny to leave.

Well, Ginny had also said she was looking for someone else in the meantime since she didn’t think Harry would need their arrangement anymore in the long run which was just plain stupid, but well. If Ginny wanted to move on, Harry wouldn’t hold her back. She was his friend first, affair second. 

Anyways, while Harry could handle Tom’s steadily increasing bad mood, his own stress levels, and Gin moving on - what he couldn’t handle was to come home and find used dishes in the kitchen that indicated pancakes - made by Tom - _with no leftovers for Harry._

Enough was enough.

Harry stormed into Tom’s room - for once he was the one to not knock - but Tom didn’t even have the decency to look up and acknowledge Harry. His head was bobbing up and down, framed by the circumaural earphones that Harry had gifted him last Christmas (and come to think of it, the earphones had noise cancelling so why had Tom disturbed him again and again when Harry had been _too loud for him to study?)_ while he was scribbling away, various books surrounding him.

Was it all just a joke to Tom? 

Harry stomped forward, used Tom’s shoulder to spin his chair, and ignored the surprised yell when he let himself drop to his knees, pressing between Tom’s long legs, pushing them apart with his hands on Tom’s jumping thighs. 

Harry ignored the naked chest when he stared hard up into Tom’s widened eyes, a faint blush on his cheeks, mouth slightly opened by surprise.

“Wha-“

“Say yes, and I’m gonna suck you off and we’ll be done with this stupid game.”

It hadn’t the expected effect. 

Harry had imagined Tom to be in control, maybe victorious? With how Harry had worked himself up over the matter, with the idea that Tom just needed a good orgasm to destress, it all seemed eventually like an elaborate plan. 

So, Harry was genuinely surprised and thrown off his game when instead of leaning back and giving Harry instructions in the low, dangerous voice Harry might or might not be jerking off to these last days and weeks, Tom spluttered and blushed to the roots and down his chest. 

And like always when Harry was out of his depth, his mouth just ran away from him. 

“Huh. With a pretty face like that, I didn’t think a simple blowjob would fluster you so much. Or is it because I’m a guy? I mean Malfoy implied you were straight so I asked Ginny first but she said I should do it myself and I figured it can’t get much more awkward than you barging constantly in when I’m having sex so- yeah, I might as well do it myself.”

There. That wasn't as bad as it could have been - Harry had explained everything without calling Tom a moody, bad-tempered bitch to his face. Good job, Potter. Ginny will be proud. 

“...You asked your girlfriend to give me head?!”

_What the-_

“What? No! God, that would be weird. I asked Ginny.”

Honestly, Tom had some odd ideas. Where did he even get the impression that Harry had a girlfriend? Did he honestly think Harry would still be fooling around if he had a serious relationship? It kind of stung and occupied Harry’s mind enough that he was surprised by the rogue push at his forehead. He landed hard on his ass while Tom climbed over him and towards the door all while muttering under his breath, brows furrowed together and not sparing a single glance to Harry. He didn’t even put on a shirt before he grabbed his key and left through the front door. 

_What the hell was his problem?_

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I've written some more for it already but I seem to be unable to get those two to do smutty things atm.  
> (Somehow it ended up with Tom&Ginny (without benefits) and I have no idea how I got there either)  
> It can be read as one-shot so I set it as complete but I might come back to it later :D  
> ______
> 
> Let me know what you think!  
> Also, feel free to check out my [tumblr](https://ellionne.tumblr.com/), I’d love to see you around 💙


End file.
